Noblesse Key

I am a kenneth.


Friday, August 26, 2011

My Farmville

As I have long endured the hardships to become rich, alas, it finally paid off. I have put up a hundred hectare paradise full of my favorite fruits and vegetables. So let me tour you to my world. Up is my man-made falls, an exact replica of the famous Niagara Falls which was meticulously crafted by the finest architects and engineers in the entire universe. It took almost a day for its completion. The catch is that it is run by gravity there is no electricity used (it is for a fact).
Since it's illegal to buy an island here in the Philippines, I just made one. It has a total span of 2o hectares with amusement parks, malls, and every establishment there in the world. It took almost a week to gather all the soil needed for my Island. I call it Isle Esme.

For the record, I really like my piranhas because they have eaten a number of my enemies. They are not stubborn like dogs and cats, you just give them a live human being and they are already happy, quite simple right? I love my Piranhas.

Honey Dew Melon, also called as fruit for the Gods. It is really fit for a person who's as rich as me. I can even buy a place in Olympus. The sweet taste of its flesh and its capturing juice is ecstatic. Poor people can never afford such fruit.
Bottle Gourd is in a perfect shape to smash the faces of my irresponsible staffs. I hate lousy people so I really like the shape of this vegie. When they don't water the plants on time, it really pisses me off. I am paying my farmers 10k an hour so they should work efficiently.

For my silky, smoother than porcelain skin, I have my sweet tomatoes for that. It was one of my secrets, the Key's Secret. However, I'm sharing it with you since you (the reader) can never lay a finger on these types of tomatoes. They are especially cultured in my farm, the first and only in the universe.

Since I strongly believe in the order of things. I hired a thousand of world-known scientists to develop a variety of eggplant shaped like an egg and not like a p*nis. It has been a long time irony for eggplants to shape like that. I am quite sensitive to this kind of matter as well.
A banana called thousand fingers. I bet with just its name you already know why I like this fruit. Yes, it is because of its roots. Anyways, I must admit that I personally talk to thieves to stole a trunk from the garden of Eden. Certainly, it was worth the price.
That's my cow, Maria Silvia Estepania Eleonora Alberta Cheena Paula Keina Persia Junrela Goldsmith. She is my source of money. Actually, I'm just an indigent farmer. But then, ever since "she" came I became lucky. Aside from the fact that her shit turns to gold.

I hope you enjoyed my quick tour. Stupendous! Bon Jour! Amazing!


  1. ...CHAR!!!!!!Hope i can visit there too!!!!!!!

  2. You can't...squatters aren't allowed in my paradise!!!!

  3. Maria Silvia Estepania Eleonora Alberta Cheena Paula Keina Persia Junrela Goldsmith ...wala ba syang nickname?!?!? hehe

  4. hahaha...nice post sire...unfortunately, di sa 'yo ang land..ay so sad :) :(

    asteeeg ng piranha mo ha...kulay orange..harhar..favorite color kopa :D


  5. nice '=your 'island' unfortunately, bottle gourds are not veggies. they are fruits... hahahgah

  6. @Hana: SHE ang nickname niya...
    @Linday: I feed my piranhas with people who's favorite color is orange.
    @Lycel: SUYA!!!
    @Albert: Whatever, you still can never have one. Poor!!!


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