There are simple things that are so hard to do. Even with the great amount of confidence I have, I have never confessed a liking to someone. Yes, a coward, that's me. I am always preoccupied by things that might give me a heartbreak. I always think that I'm not good looking enough or a matter of social standing.
Recently, I am intoxicated of the pressure of getting a job. I was wandering the city streets when I saw a familiar face. A face I have forgotten for a long time. But for just a second, it all flashed back in my mind. I recognized her in an instant but I think she no longer know who I was and what she did for me when we were still kids. My kindergarten crush, Abigail.
My first love story
I was five when I went to kindergarten. I was not a cry baby, actually, I was excited to go school. Maybe because all my things are new. It was just an ordinary day, it was recess time. I opened my bag, to my surprise, there was no box. I have nothing for snack, my mom does not give me money that time because I don't know how to use it.
When I saw my classmates cheerfully eating, I felt a sudden pain, not hunger but envy. I did not intend to do so but my tears were falling one after another. Thinking of it now, I could not help but think how cute and sensitive I was. I want to call my mom.
I hid under the table. I could not afford to let anyone see that I was crying. Then, I heard a cute voice. It was coming from my classmate Abigail. She asked me why am I crying. I answered that I was not, so typical of me even I was just little.
I don't know if she was just a keen observer but she handed out a biscuit. I was startled and ran away...with the biscuit of course. I did not even give my thanks. I did not eat the biscuit. I brought it at home.
The next morning, I was so eager to say "thank you." I approached her carrying a cupcake, something to give her in return of the biscuit. When I was supposed to say it, then, I saw her giving a biscuit to my classmate Jason. I was shocked and never uttered a word. I ran away. I felt a sudden urge of anger towards myself. Jealousy! Oh crap, I am so cute. hahahaha...
Back to present, I could not help but think how fragile and cute she was back then. But now, she has quite gained some weight and has a little boy who does not look like her. I think we're just of the same age but she's a parent now. And I'm still single...since birth.
As our path slowly taking close to each other, I gave her a smile. She responded with a smile as well. Maybe I was wrong, maybe she still recognizes me...the boy who run away without saying thank you.
As we crossed paths and I asked myself. What could have happen if I was just brave back then? Could my life have been different? But let bygones be bygones, I need to face the present, the reality. I'm single and ready to mingle. I need to find my damsel in distress.