Let's get some noise here...let me start it with my fart! pppffffrrrtttt!!!!!
Sorry for the bad manners I got there. I just want to start this post with something smelly and fishy (I had fish fillet for dinner). I haven't taken a bath for two days. I don't eat lunch. And, I'm not touching my computer (just posting this). I'm currently punishing myself for disappointing myself.
You read it right! I am self-punishing as of the moment. This is the first time I'm actually sharing this side of me but I've been doing this since I was little. It kind of relieves me. I hate disappointing myself, so when I do, I do it to the extreme.
The reason for this is choosing the wrong decision. I am slowly regretting why I chose the copy editor position over being a journalist of a well-known national newspaper, an information officer of the biggest university in the region, a managing editor of a local newspaper, or a managing editor of a magazine.
Being a fresh graduate is quite frightening so I chose a work where I can be with my friends. And when I thought that doing so would make me happy, I guess I was wrong.
Being a copy editor is not easy; we get to be trained vigorously and intensively. So as trainees, we were given with "one of the best senior copy editors." Unfortunately, she was not trained to be a trainer. She really does not know how to approach trainees. Thus, we really haven't learned a lot from her. I know when I'm just making excuses and when I speak of the truth. This time, I'm certain I'm not making any excuses.
For more than two months, we get to listen to her "British" accent. She was indeed an intimidating woman. She was scary! So we cannot ask her questions because she might think that we are stupid. It's easy to say that "only dumb people are afraid to ask questions" but it's always the opposite. So our evaluations were really LOW, considering that she gave us "hard" files though we were still trainees. Then, she quit her work and left us not properly trained. So we get to stare at the monitor for weeks.
Now, the company got us a new trainer, he is simple-minded (girl trainer-complicated and strict, boy trainer-easy going). We get to improve our scores, and the instructions are clear now. Easy to follow. But it was too late.
When we thought that the 3.5-month trainee period will end, we are now facing a new predicament. The administration thinks that we are not yet fully trained. To make the story short, we are not ready to be hired. The company will be, I think, extending our trainee period with the same "LITTLE" allowance of course! When I say "LITTLE," it is really little that I can't afford to mention it.
Whose fault is it? IT'S THEIRS!!!!!! Giving us an untrained trainer who does not read the style manual herself. Oh crap! Not to mention that other employees think that out batch is stupid for getting low scores before.
Now, thinking of it, I realized that I was wasting my time, my effort, and my TALENT! Now who's to be blamed really? It's me. I made a wrong decision though I was not fully aware of the future.
Don't worry, by the time you're reading this, I'm done with my self-punishment and I must be taking a bath...of course I'm naked! ;P