On one hand, many of my relatives, from my father's side, tell me that I look like him, A LOT. As if I was a clear photocopy; it was like history repeating itself. When I look at my father, I could say that we have a lot of similarities.
On the other hand, many of my relatives, from my mother's side, tell me that I was the boy version of my mother. They say that we could have been fraternal twins. She's my mother so I guess I got some genes from her as well.
Spiky hair, medium-thick eyebrows, uneven eyes, button nose, small ears, sore lips. (This is not a 2x2!) Hey! that's me...uhm, is that really me? I always wonder how would I react when I wake up one morning having a different face. Would I laugh or what?
This is me now, January 20, 2013. This is the face I use to get on with my life. I face the mirror everyday, but today, I saw someone whom I don't know. I just stared at the mirror, amazed and confused. I grew so much, 21. It's puzzling me why I can't seem to fathom why I look that, I mean, this way. Is this really my face, my identity?
Then, I realize...why do I try so hard to look good everyday? I don't have anyone to impress. Is it because I want other people to accept me, to acknowledge me. But I hate it when I attract attention (except in the blogosphere!).
Why do I try so hard? Why does choosing what to wear seems to be so hard? Why do I care? Do other people think that I think that I'm some hotshot? Am I arrogant for wanting to look good? Am I too humble as to not mind when people tell that I look good? Do I really look good? Do I? Nutcase maybe.
Do I think that I look good? Yes, I do. But what if I'm wrong, what if I'm actually not. And I think that I am. It's wrong to think that I am because it would sound that I'm too proud of it. It's wrong to be humble because that would become MORE arrogant. It's wrong to think that I am because I might be not!
Why do I think that girls who always try to get my attention have a thing for me? What if they just want to be friends! F*ck! it really shames me for thinking that way. What a douche! Why do I think that other guys who talk bad things about me are insecure of me? But what if I really do have flaws. What if I really did something wrong! Is my head that big to think that way? ?
Bloggers! Are you still there? Have I blown you somewhere else?
Think Key...think...loading...hmmmm...I guess the bottom line here is that, I'm finding it hard to draw a line between being arrogant and confident. Well, I guess that's it! Arrogance and confidence! That's the answer! I try to look good everyday because I want to be confident! I feel so stupid. I got the answer but writing a blog. I'm laughing at myself right now.
Well, that was a simple answer. A reason I forgot. Stupid me.
But what about the girls and boys? hmmmm... correct me if I'm wrong. It's just normal to think that way right? Right?