Noblesse Key

I am a kenneth.










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Sunday, January 20, 2013

Waking UP today (the eye-rolling post)

On one hand, many of my relatives, from my father's side, tell me that I look like him, A LOT. As if I was a clear photocopy; it was like history repeating itself. When I look at my father, I could say that we have a lot of similarities. 

On the other hand, many of my relatives, from my mother's side, tell me that I was the boy version of my mother. They say that we could have been fraternal twins. She's my mother so I guess I got some genes from her as well. 


Spiky hair, medium-thick eyebrows, uneven eyes, button nose, small ears, sore lips. (This is not a 2x2!) Hey! that's me...uhm, is that really me? I always wonder how would I react when I wake up one morning having a different face. Would I laugh or what? 

This is me now, January 20, 2013. This is the face I use to get on with my life. I face the mirror everyday, but today, I saw someone whom I don't know. I just stared at the mirror, amazed and confused. I grew so much, 21. It's puzzling me why I can't seem to fathom why I look that, I mean, this way. Is this really my face, my identity? 

Then, I realize...why do I try so hard to look good everyday? I don't have anyone to impress. Is it because I want other people to accept me, to acknowledge me. But I hate it when I attract attention (except in the blogosphere!). 

Why do I try so hard? Why does choosing what to wear seems to be so hard? Why do I care? Do other people think that I think that I'm some hotshot? Am I arrogant for wanting to look good? Am I too humble as to not mind when people tell that I look good? Do I really look good? Do I? Nutcase maybe.  

Do I think that I look good? Yes, I do. But what if I'm wrong, what if I'm actually not. And I think that I am. It's wrong to think that I am because it would sound that I'm too proud of it. It's wrong to be humble because that would become MORE arrogant. It's wrong to think that I am because I might be not!

Why do I think that girls who always try to get my attention have a thing for me? What if they just want to be friends! F*ck! it really shames me for thinking that way. What a douche! Why do I think that other guys who talk bad things about me are insecure of me? But what if I really do have flaws. What if I really did something wrong! Is my head that big to think that way? ? 

Bloggers! Are you still there? Have I blown you somewhere else? 

Think Key...think...loading...hmmmm...I guess the bottom line here is that, I'm finding it hard to draw a line between being arrogant and confident. Well, I guess that's it! Arrogance and confidence! That's the answer! I try to look good everyday because I want to be confident! I feel so stupid. I got the answer but writing a blog. I'm laughing at myself right now

Well, that was a simple answer. A reason I forgot. Stupid me. 

But what about the girls and boys? hmmmm... correct me if I'm wrong. It's just normal to think that way right? Right? 




  








22 comments:

  1. Is this a coincidence or what but I had been thinking of similar things for more than a couple of days now. You sorted it out within a post. I, on the other hand, have been bothering my pitiful brain for a long time.

    When I read this post, I thought as if I am talking to myself. How can that be? It is slightly consoling to me that I am not yet crazy since you aren't either. :D

    I run around from mirror to mirror trying to figure out what being good looking means. I think that it has more to do with the attitude, the way we carry ourselves that truly makes us beautiful/pretty/handsome and so on.

    I found some simple ways to deal with my presumptions.
    If I thought that someone has been paying ‘attention’ to me I won’t believe until I am explicitly told so.
    I will dress up well because I like to see myself a certain way in the mirror.
    Good looks are, most of the times, favorable. (You know what I mean)
    There’s nothing wrong in thinking that we are somewhat special because if we don’t love ourselves first then no one else will.
    If it is called being arrogant, so be it. No clarifications are needed for the world. The ones who really care about us will make an effort to know us better.

    These are temporary thought processes which I am currently using to control my narcissism from making assumptions for me. Feel free to use them (if you need, that is).

    We could have been twins (based on this post...hahaha. Sorry, don’t be grossed out. :P

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That was quite a relief knowing that I'm not alone in this boat...

      hmmmm... do not assume... wait until you are told! got it!

      Good looks have their advantages and disadvantages...

      I certainly agree with you.. people who really want to know us will never judge us immediately!

      Fraternal twins! We have the same birthdays remember! waahahahhaah

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    2. we're all in some sort of similar state.. somehow, we think alike in some ways.. which I find a bit scary O_o

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  2. waaaaahhhh!!!!! sobra tawa ako sa post nato kenneth, hahahaha, kenneth pael talaga, ikaw talaga to eh,, hehehe, love you(:

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  3. Hey, you're not the only person that have those thoughts. Trying to be physically presentable is normal. We have the same reasons bro. Wag nga lang sana maging arrogant dahil dito. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm normal! yehey! wahahhahaahah...

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    2. No you're not. Abnormal tayo. Above normal. Nyahaha. Apir!

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  4. ok lang yung kini-claim ng both sides ng family mo na may similarity ka sa parents mo ang mahirap dun kung wala kahit isa :)

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  5. Sabi nga nila,
    "Just be yourself, everybody else is taken" so stay as fun and witty person as you are! ^◡^

    Fashionmoto

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  6. And I thought I was the only person who thinks a lot even when its not needed!

    I do whatever I want all the time, I don't care what other people think about me being insane or whatever, cos people always has something to say!

    But I would say you look good for a 21 year old!

    I look like my ma, photocopy! except am dark.

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    Replies
    1. cheers to thinking the thoughts!!!! wahaahahahah

      Thanks, I agree that I look good at 21! joke! wahahhaahah

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  7. What was the post all about again? LOL

    Hmmm...It's so okay to look good and feel good about oneself. If you're doing it for yourself and not just for others to notice, then it becomes better.

    I used to think about this too, I guess, when I was younger... because we gain confidence from superficial things... but as you grow in years and come to see your inner strengths, then your confidence builds up and becomes more natural :)

    God bless on your discoveries :)

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    Replies
    1. WOW, that's some sense into me... you really are deep depth!

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  8. subukan mo kaya magpa semi kalbo...ano kaya maging reaksyon ng mga kaibigan mo,hehe..

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I am a very understanding person, so feel free to leave your nice and wonderful comments.